How do I increase my energy?
Pay attention to how you feel to experience more energy – both as a person and as a parent. Spring is a busy time when we can feel drained, even though there are many new and fun things going on in our lives.
How do you tune into your own energy level so that you can feel more energy and joy? Allow yourself to be more fully YOU!
Express your full self – your personality, your interests, your wacky ways – by doing things that energize you.
Many of us, especially in the early years of parenting, can become so focused on how we think we should be as parents that we let go of who we once were. You might feel like your pre-parenting energy got zapped, and now you find yourself doing many things that drain you. For example…saying no over and over, resolving arguments, and being a master planner of people who don’t always appreciate your efforts.
It might even be hard to remember what does energize you. However, when you focus on doing more things that energize you, everyone benefits.
Don’t get me wrong. Shifting your focus and channeling your energy into your kids is necessary and healthy. We often have to change some of our patterns to match our children’s needs (like when we go to bed, what we do, how we schedule our time). Parenting calls us to truly put others before ourselves in important ways which help us grow as human beings.
However, sometimes we can lose ourselves in honor of focusing on our kids. And then we feel a bit lost, less happy, tired and lower in energy. How do we honor our full selves so that we can feel more energy and delight in daily life?
Rekindle your fire for more family energy
The quest to rekindle one’s fuller self while actively parenting has been a joyful theme in many of my coaching sessions lately. I love helping parents
- tap into their strengths
- do more of what they love
- and have more fun with their kids
When I hear the changes people start seeing when they share more of themselves with their kids, it can seem almost miraculous. Our kids want to see us happy, energized, and excited about what we are doing, especially when it involves them in some way.
Here’s some road-tested proof:
One client’s child told his parents that he was so glad to have them as his parents because they know how to have fun together as a family. They had shifted from controlling the agenda of their child to finding ways for each family member to have fun in his or her own way.
Another client’s children are noticeably more relaxed now that their mom is doing yoga and pursuing a sport she’s always wanted to try. Why? Because she is happier and more relaxed, too.
One dad started scheduling time at a local library to focus on his own work and then found himself more able to enjoy his kids when he came home. They felt happier since he was more present and more engaged when he was home.
When we’re happy and doing what we love, our kids are likely to feel that way, too.
Notice your energy – Make an Energy Diagram!
When do you feel most energized (energy going in)?
When do you feel most drained (energy going out)?
Sometimes I invite my clients to make what I call an “Energy Diagram.” Here are the steps:
- Draw a circle on a piece of paper and put your name in the middle of it.
- Write down things* that drain your energy around the circle with arrows going out.
- Then write things** that boost your energy with arrows going in, even if those things are from the past.
*These energy drains and boosts can be activities, conversation patterns, behaviors, experiences – anything you want to write down or draw.
**If something both gives and takes your energy, you can make the arrows go both ways.
4. Choose a few of the things that boost your energy that you want to do more of. Highlight them or circle them. This will give you some new things to focus on!
Invite your family to make energy diagrams, too!
If your kids are old enough to talk and reflect a bit, you can do an energy diagram with them or let them make their own. It’s very helpful to do this exercise with a partner or friend as well so that you can see what things drain and energize each of you so that you can better support each other. Sometimes, dividing up activities or making sure each person gets some energy boosts each week can change the whole family dynamic.
One couple I worked with realized that one of them liked to do indoor activities on the weekend to boost her energy while the other needed to do things outside of the house to boost his energy. Once they realized this pattern, they were able to plan their weekends to make sure they both got re-energized while also honoring the energy needs of each of their children. Looking at their needs from the frame of “energy” took the judgment they each felt out of the equation so that they could focus on supporting each other’s needs.
Fan your flames
Once you’ve discovered what gives you energy and spark, it’s time to “fan your flames” and build that experience more into your daily or weekly life.
What little shifts can you make to pursue your interests more fully? How can you combine what you love with parenting to create more daily sparks of fun?
Perhaps you are energized by playing tennis or pickle ball. Can you find sport opportunities for you and find a middle schooler or high schooler who can come throw a ball or do an activity with your kids? Or can you swap time with a partner or friend so that you can each pursue an activity you love on your own?
Maybe you love making art or going to art museums. Are there simple projects you can do with your kids? Can you get a membership to a museum so that you can go for a quick visit with your kids more often (since they may not have the attention span you do). Or perhaps you like being involved in your community. Are there family-friendly interest groups you can start or join – such as a farm co-op, book group, or a social justice group?
Be mindful about identifying your energy boosts and energy drains, and take steps to build in activities that boost your energy. In this way, you’ll be generate more energy for yourself, both as a person and as parent. Struggle to remember to take time for yourself?Add personal time blocks to your calendar – even if they are only for 5 or 15 minutes! You will feel the difference and so will your kids.
Need some help figuring out how to apply these ideas in your family? Schedule a Complimentary Clarity Call with me or bring this up at your next parent coaching session.
Related Blogs:
Check out these blogs for more ideas to make the most of the spring season and feel good about your parenting.
Heart-led Freedom in Parenting – tools and a meditation to help you access your body and mind’s inner wisdom
How to Align with Spring Energy – great ways to think about what to let go of and what to bring in this season
Release Stress and Power Your Parenting Skills – learn ways to reduce stress in creative ways
Five Ways to Lighten an Emotional Backpack – learn powerful reframes that can help you and your kids “lighten their load”
I wish you new bursts of energy and more fun with your children and teens!
Until next time,
Amy
Who I serve: I coach parents from coast to coast in the US and internationally. Thanks to Zoom, I am currently coaching parents from Boston to Seattle, Connecticut to California, as well as New York, Ohio, and Colorado. I’ve worked with parents in Bermuda, Japan, Portugal, and Canada as well. I’m grateful for these global and domestic connections!
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