How are you feeling as you get back into the swing of school, work, and life in general after the holidays? Winter can be a hard season for families if you are indoors more and relationships are tense. And yet, there are special opportunities to deepen connection, savor winter experiences, and reflect on what you want for yourself and your family in the coming year. 

Today I’m sharing 3 simple tools to help you make the most of this season and year. 

1. Savor the good – a practice to help you move from worry to wonder. Scroll down to learn more.
2. Choose a “Word of the Year” – a wonderfully simple way to create positive transformation in your life on many levels. Click here for a deep dive on how to choose your Word of the Year or scroll down for a brief version. 
3. Imagine using your word of the year or a deep value to guide you towards a new response to a challenging situation. Click here for a guided meditation.

Photo by MJH Shikder on Unsplash

Savor the good – What you focus on grows! 

From worry to wonder

It’s easy to get sucked into focusing on the problems and worries. I face this tendency myself when one of my children is doing something that I don’t like. With two of my kids home from college for the winter break, I’ve had to consciously re-orient myself towards savoring the good as they share things about their lives and do things that trigger my desire to guide and protect (aka control 🙂 ) them. 

I regularly need to pause and consider their needs at this developmental stage of their lives so that I can support their personal growth instead of trying to advise or control them. It’s not easy, but it is rewarding! Try this, and you’ll find that asking questions about your own and others’ needs and values yields understanding and new possibilities. 

When I trust and let go more, our relationship blooms. When I avoid making assumptions and approach conversations with curiosity, I feel less worry and more wonder at who my child is becoming. 

Practices to stay calm, centered and able to savor the good

Our family dynamic shifts along with the seasons as each of my three kids enters or leaves our home for a period of time. Your family dynamic may also shift with the seasons as your children start different activities, grow into new developmental stages, and develop new interests.

To stay calm, centered, and able to savor the good with each change, I find these practices helpful:

• Focus on the good (What is going well right now? If things are hard, where is the silver lining?)
• Widen the lens (Keep the big picture in mind and don’t sweat the small stuff.)
• Consider their developmental stage (What is my child figuring out right now?)
• Listen more than talk (See my recent blogs on communication)
• Ask generative questions (Short questions why, what and how questions yield thoughtful answers.) 

If you resonate with one or more of these ideas, you might write them on a Post-it. Then, put those words on your bathroom mirror to strengthen your intention and focus. 

Photo by Stephen Kraakmo on Unsplash

Take time to savor the good in your family

Grab your journal or take a walk with a partner, friend or on your own and ponder these questions:

• As I consider the past year, what are some of the moments I am savoring? 
• Which challenges have I faced? Where can I find some silver linings? 
• What experiences have led to more connection and understanding between my family members? 
• What is/are my child/ children figuring out right now? What are they learning? How have they grown? What growth lies ahead? 
• What positive experiences might be possible for my family in the coming year?

Choose a “Word of the Year”

How do I need to grow in order to support my own needs and the needs of my family this coming year? 

In order to be the way I want to be as a person and as a parent, what word might remind me of what I need to practice? 

Imagine doing this exercise next January. How would I want to look back on this past year? What would make me proud of myself? 

If you’d like more support on choosing your “Word of the Year,” check out this blogpost on a process for selecting your Word of the Year or schedule a Complimentary Clarity Call with me. 

Bring it all together

Now that you have taken time to savor good aspects and experiences of your past year and considered your word of the year, let’s do some imagining.

Imagine yourself in a situation that challenges you. 

1. Something is happening that is triggering worry in you. Or, perhaps your child is doing something that you don’t like. 

2. Maybe you had an argument with a family member. 

3. Or, maybe you are just feeling unmotivated and sick of a certain pattern in your family.  

Feel your feelings about whatever is happening.

Notice what’s coming up. Then, consider your needs. What do you really want or need right now? What is important to you in this situation? 

Now, pause and widen your lens and turn to savoring the good. 

1. What is the bigger picture of this situation? What is your child needing or figuring out? What positive things can you appreciate about your child in addition to the worrisome behaviors? 

2. What are you and your family member each fighting for in terms of what’s important to you in this argument? What can you appreciate about each of your values at this moment? 

3. What is your heart longing for instead of your current situation or pattern? What do you really need? Appreciate your clarity. 

Consider how your word of the year might help you at this moment. 

Does your word remind you of a value you hold that can help you set a boundary, make a request, or clarify a stance you are taking? If you kept that value or your word in mind, how might your behavior change in this situation? 

Experiment.

Try out a new response using your word to guide you. Notice the response. Savor the good in your learning process. 

If your word isn’t quite working as you need it to, check out my Word of the Year blog which contains a Clarity Creator tool to help you sort through three different words. Or, schedule a Complimentary Clarity Call or your next Parent Coaching Session (if you are already a client) and we can figure it what works best for you together. 

I wish you all the best in the coming year! 

Until next time, 

Amy

Related Blogs for Further Reflection and Learning:

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Who I serve: I coach parents from coast to coast in the US and internationally.  Thanks to Zoom, I am currently coaching parents from Boston to Seattle, Connecticut to California, as well as New York, Ohio, and Colorado. I’ve worked with parents in Bermuda, Japan, Portugal, and Canada as well. I’m grateful for these global and domestic connections!