Resources

Parenting books I recommend:

Wonderful books on brain-based/mindful parenting strategies:

I love the work of Dr. Laura Markham and highly recommend her books and her website, Aha Parenting, especially if you have young children.

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr. Laura Markham (Excellent book on how fostering emotional connection with your young child will create lasting, effective change.)

Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life by Dr. Laura Markham (Excellent book on how to use self-regulation, connection and coaching to help children get along with more empathy and cooperation – helpful for both your own children and children at playdates)

I love the brain-based, mindful, and loving perspectives of Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, PhD. The following books are some of my favorite books on parenting. They inspire my work with clients and with my own family. I have them in order of newest to oldest. They’re all worth reading, but I recommend their newest books first! You can also look online to see and listen to videos of both authors talking about their books.

The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

The Yes Brain Child: How to Help Your Child Be More Resilient, Independent and Creative by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Dr. Daniel J. Siegel

The Whole-Br ain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges by Amy Cuddy (This book is not specifically on parenting but has excellent ideas for understanding connections between physical postures, thought and behavior that can be helpful for parents, teens and children.)

More books on mindful/conscious parenting:

The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting by Shefali Tsabary, PhD.

The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, PhD.

How to Be a Parent: The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will be Glad That You Did) by Philippa Perry

Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn

The Mindful Child: How to Help Your Kid Manage Stress and Become Happier, Kinder, and More Compassionate by Susan Kaiser Greenland

Mindful Games: sharing mindfulness and meditation with children, teens, and families by Susan Kaiser Greenland

A Handful of Quiet: Happiness in Four Pebbles by Thich Nhat Hanh

Stay Cool and In Control with the Keep-Calm Guru by Lauren Brukner – for parent and child

How to Be a Superhero Called Self-Control by Lauren Brukner – for parent and child

Books that focus on connecting with children, effective discipline, raising empathetic, responsible and confident children, and allowing children to learn through their mistakes:

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Dr. Laura Markham

Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life by Dr. Laura Markham

Confident Parents, Remarkable Children by Bonnie Harris

Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child’s Emotions and Solving Family Problems by Kenneth Barish

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live, Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Duct Tape Parenting by Vicki Hoefle

The Straight Talk on Parenting: A No-Nonsense Approach on How to Grow a Grown-Up by Vicki Hoefle

The Gift of Failure by Jessica Lahey

The Blessings of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel

The Blessings of a B-Minus by Wendy Mogel

Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler

T he Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by William Stixrud and Ned Johnson

Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About Me World by Michele Borba

Parenting from Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection and Choice – a presentation of Nonviolent Communication ideas and their use by Inbal Kashtan

How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims

Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, As, Praise and Other Bribes by Alfie Kohn

Books to help parents understand developmental stages of their children:

Series for children ages 1-14 years old: Example –Your One-Year Old: The Fun-Loving, Fussy 12-to-24-Month-Old by Louise Bates Ames and Frances L. Ilg Note: This series includes a book that focuses on each year of life for children ages 1-14, and while they are dated (from the 1980s), they are full of knowledge, humor, and guidance that remains helpful for parents as their children change over time. Plus, they’re inexpensive since you can buy them used!

Books to help parents reflect on their own lives:

The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too) by Gretchen Rubin

Living Beautifully: with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chodron

Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness by Rick Hanson

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck

The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

Change the World: How Ordinary People Can Achieve Extraordinary Results by Robert E. Quinn

Take Time for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson

The Adult Years: Mastering the Art of Self-Renewal by Frederic M. Hudson

Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long by David Rock

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear

Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong by Eric Barker

Books on talking about racism and social justice with children:

Please see the Families Organizing for Racial Justice website I help maintain. Click on the Resources section for suggestions of websites, videos, books, and more.

So You Want to Talk about Race by Ijeoma Uluo is an excellent book for adults to educate themselves and others, which is an essential step if you want to talk with your children about race and racism.

Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America by Jennifer Harvey is a helpful book for parents of white children who want to name the privilege of white hierarchy and raise children who can stand up against racism.

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria and Other Conversations about Race by Beverly Daniel Tatum is an excellent book for any parent seeking to understand the dynamics of race in America. Tatum guides readers in how to talk directly about racial and ethnic identities in order to bring about greater psychological health and help bridge the divisions in American society.

Books and Resources on Nonviolent Communication:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication , PuddleDancer Press Resources on Nonviolent Communication – websites where you can download helpful sheets to support your practice

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Ed. by Marshall B. Rosenburg, PhD – excellent explanation and overview of the process, filled with stories to illustrate how NVC works

Parenting from Your Heart: Sharing the Gifts of Compassion, Connection and Choice – a presentation of Nonviolent Communication ideas and their use with children by Inbal Kashtan

Speaking Peace: Connecting with Others through Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg PhD – a great Audio CD collection that explores personal and professional applications

Amy provides insight, support, and compassion to parents struggling to connect, listen, laugh, and understand their children. Through patience and humor, Amy finds a way to navigate the intensity of parenting and partnership. Amy shows you patterns in your behavior, insight into your child, and how to connect with your spouse. If you want to feel more calm, more connected to your kids and spouse, and more centered within yourself, Amy is the coach for you. Her accessibility, gentle guidance, and support are wrapped in levity, understanding, and care. Definitely worth every penny to help yourself and your family.

Jen Carter, M.D., Stratham, NH. Mom of three children ages 8, 10 and 12

Dear Amy,

Working with you was more enriching and satisfying than I could have imagined. From the moment I reached out to you about working together, I felt embraced and cared for. During the four months of us working together, I felt like you connected with our situation, and when sharing resources or strategies, you made relevant and meaningful connections between my experience and my daughter’s and how they could be helpful.

I really appreciated the playbook questions to be answered before and after the calls, as they kept me focused and helped me recenter before our calls. They are now a journal of sorts, and an invaluable document as I continue to work on growing through these challenges that have decreased dramatically.
It was an extraordinary process to not just learn about my daughter’s style and temperament, or her values and strengths, but to also see how this was an opportunity for me to grow. I tell everyone I can about the impact of this experience on my person, my relationship with my daughter, and on our family. I foresee that I will return again and again as new challenges arise, and I’m so looking forward to it.

My sincerest gratitude for everything!

Marta B, Northampton, MA

We sought out parent coaching because we felt like we lost our patience too easily as parents and then often felt judgmental of ourselves. We both knew that there was a way to apply our mindfulness practices to parenting, but needed guidance. Amy helped us learn to collaborate with our child more often to get his input on difficult situations, like morning routines, which helps him invest in the solutions. We also have more productive conversations with him when we process difficulties because we have a framework. We feel closer as a family.

Amy is non-judgmental and easy-going, which makes being vulnerable enough to make real changes easier. Her humor, practical approach and excellent questions made all the difference. Coaching with Amy has been one of the best investments we’ve made.

Amy and Pete, Mansfield, MA

Parent coaching with Amy has transformed our family. When we started, we were exhausted and exasperated with parenting and our kids. We felt as though we’d gone through our “toolbox” and were out of ideas on how to have cooperative, yet happy kids and family. By the end of the day we often felt bad/sad about our own actions that day.

Parent coaching has enabled us to take a step back to learn about each of our kids and their emotional, physical and developmental needs. And because we recognize that each is unique, and often changing, our parenting needs to be flexible and less rigid than we’d set up. We can have more fun, enjoyment and laughter AND feel successful at the end of the day. Remembering to find the joy and playfulness makes for happy kids and parents!

We’ve worked through countless real, concrete solutions to our family’s everyday challenges. We’re building a toolbox. We’re learning how to use it in real time and having more fun, too.

Melissa and Ernie, parents of 5 year old twin boys and a 2 year old girl in Newton, MA

I have been talking about this experience of parent coaching with every parent I talk to. I’ve shared the value of the resources and time reflecting and processing. At the beginning I felt overwhelmed, hopeless, and like a complete failure. Now I feel confident and recharged. I am able to be the parent I wanted to be. Our weekly conversations have been most helpful. You are so positive, supportive, and nonjudgmental, which is what we all need when talking about our insecurities with parenting.

Mo Reed-McNally, mom of 5 and 7 year old boys in Amherst, MA

Your parenting, relationship, and individual coaching has been invaluable to me through this year which has been challenging in so many ways. I’m grateful I’ve had you as a touch point and lifeline. Your parenting insights and ideas made me step back and examine the type of relationship and family I want to create –and recognize that our family and relationship doesn’t have to be the one that just happens, but that I can be more in control and a creator of both. You have been a true treasure and ray of light for me during a difficult year.

Sara, mom of 7 year old girl and twin 5 year old boys in Marin County, CA

The most important impact of parent coaching for us is that now we’re on the same page as parents in terms of how we handle our daughter’s behavior. Before that, our strategies were reactive or inconsistent. Through our weekly coaching sessions, we gained clarity on what was happening and learned how to handle meltdowns effectively. We learned to pay attention to WHY our daughter was behaving negatively, which enabled us to get much better at meeting her needs. Now it’s hard to remember the last time there was a hitting or yelling episode! We are both on the same page and can tap in for each other when one of us needs a break. Parent coaching with Amy was a really worthwhile investment that has strengthened our relationship with our older daughter and each other. We are truly grateful to Amy for her guidance through a big transition for our family.

Andy and Elizabeth, parents of girls ages 4 and 7 months, Roslindale, MA

Amy helped us navigate through a really turbulent time and brought back a sense of delight of being with our son. He is now less whiny, better at coping with emotions, and more self-directed and we are calmer and more confident in our approach to parenting, which makes all of us feel happier to be together. What makes Amy truly stand out is her hands-on, judgement-free approach—over six sessions, she equipped us with the tools and language to approach parenting challenges and help our son build resilience and navigate his emotions. We learned to emphasize the positive and to show our son the process of our thinking through things. We now encourage him to participate in problem solving and he comes up with great ideas. Seeing things from our son’s perspective gave us new insight into his needs. We are all enjoying less conflict and more fun around the house!

Jennifer Chen and Simon Montlake, Cambridge, MA

Through the whole coaching process, Amy was the very definition of committed. She was completely focused and engaged, took copious notes, asked highly relevant questions, engaged in dialogue for the sake of discovery and clarification, and took the time to compose thoughtful emails. I felt supported, heard, and understood every step of the way.

Father in Brookline, MA

We would definitely recommend parent coaching with Amy. She helped us build our parenting muscles, work better as a team and build our confidence to parent well and in line with our values. We are having more fun with our kids now and feel like we have some more structure and control over what happens at home.

Parents of two young children in West Roxbury, MA

Amy reminds me to pay attention to and move toward what lights me up and what makes me feel most alive. This helps me to focus on what is most important in my life.

Mother dealing with separation and job transition in Newton, MA

It has been two years since I did parenting coaching sessions with Amy and I still use ideas and techniques I learned during that time. I am so happy that there is now a wonderful friendship and love between me and my son which I had not thought would be possible when I started the coaching. He now reads more books and makes better choices. I am so grateful to Amy for those conversations, and her support and wisdom that changed my approach to parenting and brought light into our family life.

Olga, Newton parent of 7 & 3 years old

Working one on one with Amy has been invaluable to our family. With her help, I have become more firm, clear, and confident in my parenting. Before I worked with Amy, my stress level about parenting was on the high end. As a result of working with Amy, my stress level has decreased to a more manageable level. My family routines have greatly improved and I’ve learned to make a more concerted effort in nurturing all of the relationships in our family. I highly recommend Amy Behrens as a parent coach.

Maura, mother of boys ages 6 and 2 in Roslindale, MA

With Amy Behrens as my parent coach, I have become more aware of my parenting, more positive in my interactions with my children and much happier about myself — something counseling and dozens of parenting books weren’t able to help with.
Amy listened to the issues I’ve had about parenting and helped me envision the relationship I wanted with my children in the future. She provided me with a fresh lens and tools to help me deal with my current situation. What stood out for me in this process was how, through her careful listening, empathy and coaching skills, Amy was able to customize a program for me that fit my home and family. I would highly recommend Amy Behrens as a talented parent coach and indeed already have to several of my friends!

Julie Crosson, MD, mother of 2 in Newton, MA

Parent Coach and Educator