Finding it hard to cope with anxiety during another pandemic winter? Try these 10 easy tips to transform your energy and turn challenges into growth.
If you’re like me, you’ve been experiencing a wide-ranging flow of emotions during these past few weeks. Life can feel like an emotional rollercoaster – flying high from moments of love and connection one moment and then feeling a surge of anxiety when things go awry. Maybe you regret a comment that didn’t land well with a family member, or a Covid surge changed your plans, or everyone is just cranky from long hours inside…There are many moments of ups and downs right now.
Scroll down for my favorite ways to turn anxiety-filled doldrums into peace, possibility, and joy.
Photo by Somruthai Keawjan on Unsplash
Flashbacks to 2020
Many of my clients have expressed frustration and anxiety as the pandemic surges again – worrying about their kids, their own mental health, and their ability to keep life running smoothly. How do we plan our days when we find out we need to quarantine or get tested, even though it’s both hard and expensive to find a test? Or it snows and school is closed and we have to spend hours shoveling?
Tough moments give us opportunities to practice mindfulness: Tune in, widen your lens, and learn to “surf” the waves of emotions that are part of life.
I’m finding that the best way to settle my thoughts and feelings is to come into the present moment. From there, I remember that I can’t control most things, but I can switch to trust that if I can set a positive intention, good things will flow from that shift of energy.
10 Tips for Dealing with Frustration, Anxiety, and the Winter Blues
Accept the as-is
Exhale deeply
Consciously focus your attention on the positive
Remember how you’ve overcome past challenges
Get moving
Go outside
Embrace wonder
Conjure up the people who care for you
Shift perspective
Envision your desired outcome
Photo by Jeff Ashton on Unsplash
Accept the as-is
One of the “gifts” of this pandemic is an awareness of how little control we actually have. This has always been the case, but living in a modern developed world, we can come to expect that most things will go according to plan. In any given moment, things can surprise us. So if we can learn to respond instead of just reacting, we can gain back a little control and equanimity.
What does this look like? Let’s say something happens which changes your whole plan for your day…your child has to come home because they are sick, for example. You might react by getting upset and feel overwhelmed with anxiety about how to change your plans all of the sudden.
Or, you can respond by sitting quietly for a few minutes, considering what is most important, accepting what is happening, and then figuring out your next steps. As Marie Forleo says in her new book, “Everything is figureoutable.” It may not be what you expected, but you can handle it and you will handle it. And, if you do it from a place of positive intention, life tends to unfold in a more agreeable way.
Exhale deeply
When we focus on our breath, we naturally switch our nervous system’s energy away from reactivity towards conscious thought. Exhaling longer than your inhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system and brings feelings of relaxation into your body. You can also play with feeling your breath in the front and back of your body or the right and left sides of your body to help yourself focus on your breath and feel calmer.
Consciously focus your attention on the positive
One of the best ways to feel better is to switch your attention from anxiety and irritation to the positive or something you are grateful for in that moment. What we focus on grows because our attention is like fertilizer. So if we focus on things which are annoying, worrisome, angering, etc. we add fuel to that experience. When we notice ourselves doing this, we can take a breath, exhale, and then look for something which is positive, joyful, beautiful, relaxing or peaceful.
Photo by Thomas Park on Unsplash
What does this look like? Let’s say numerous things have happened to make things difficult – you spilled something, a child or teen is complaining, and you are trying to get out the door. A flood of emotions runs through you- anger, irritation, fear, anxiety… With each moment, you can make a choice: Perhaps you yell at your child and start a fight, or you might pause and take a deep breath and then switch your focus. For example, you can observe the way the sponge absorbs liquid, or notice how articulate your child is being in expressing their complaint, or appreciate the gleam of the sunshine on the counter. Within seconds, you will start to feel a bit better and be able to keep moving through that difficult moment with greater ease.
Remember how you’ve overcome past challenges
When things are rough, it can help to take a few moments to reflect on how you have gotten through past challenges. As you remember, you can offer yourself some encouragement, call to mind a lesson you learned, and feel a lift of energy to help you keep going in this present moment.
Get moving
One of the best ways to work through or let go of negative emotions or stuck emotions is to move. You can literally stand up and do a little shaking out of your body. If you need a few minutes of shaking it out, check out this song by the band Sylvan Esso called “Shaking Out the Numb.“ Here are the lyrics. I’ve been finding this song particularly poignant during the pandemic when so many upsetting things are happening across the globe. We can start to feel numb with being overwhelmed. Shaking it out and dancing offer reconnection.
Go outside
Going outside and walking never fails to lift my mood. Whether it’s around the block or in the woods, being outdoors offers connection with nature, social connection with other people, and movement – three of the best ways to ground yourself when you are feeling out of sorts.
If you can’t go outside, you can get the effect of a wider perspective on life just by looking out a window at the sky and trees or other people living their lives. They, too, are going through ups and down, hopes and worries, just like we all do. Going outside not only activates your senses, but it also helps you move from a “me” perspective to a “we” perspective, both of which make you feel better.
Embrace Wonder
This one is easiest when you are outside because there is so much wonder to behold – cool shadows of tree silhouettes, birds swooping across the sky, red berries poking through the snow… There are moments of wonder inside, too – the warmth of your child’s hand in yours, the way the light illuminates a room, plants growing on a windowsill, the softness of a warm blanket…
Taking time to savor these little pleasures can fill one’s heart with gratitude when you allow yourself to consciously take in the beauty of life.
Photo by Sandra Frey on Unsplash
Conjure up the people who care for you
It’s easy to feel isolated when stuck inside due to weather, sickness, quarantine or inertia. One way to feel more connected and nurtured is to close your eyes and imagine being with someone who loves you or who loved you when they were alive. As you remember the feeling of being together, your nervous system will calm and your brain will automatically release chemicals which bring about feelings of relaxation and comfort. You can do this at night if you find it hard to sleep or any time when you need some connection and love.
You can also imagine yourself with your inner “Wise Self.” I do a special “Inner Mentor” guided meditation with my clients sometimes to help them access this inner wisdom. Email me if you’d like a single session to explore this idea. It’s a powerful experience that is deeply comforting and helpful to many people.
Shift perspective
One of the most powerful ways I support my parent coaching clients is by helping them tap into the perspective of their children and teens. This is a technique I use with myself when I am navigating a challenging situation with one of my own children or anyone in my life. I will close my eyes and imagine being that other person and try to feel what they might be needing and feeling and wanting. While none of us can ever really know what it’s like to be another person, taking some time to step into another’s perspective sheds insight that can shift the whole way you interact with that person. You automatically will feel more compassion, connection, and curiosity, all of which powerfully affect your interactions in positive ways. Try it and let me know how this technique works for you.
Envision your desired outcome
Imagining your desired outcome of a situation, whether it be a conversation, scenario, or big picture experience, is a powerful way to shift your energy and open up new ideas. I use this approach with my clients and they find it super helpful, and fun, too. I’ve had many people write to me years later, telling me how they are living the vision we generated together in our sessions.
If you want a deep experience of generating ideas for the coming year, I invite you to join me for my upcoming online VISION 2023 RETREAT on Feb. 4th, 2023 9am-1pm EST. Limited to 9 people for a deep experience. $127/ person
One of my vision boards
Here’s what you’ll get from this experience:
- Clarity on what you really want
- A touchstone word to guide you towards your dreams in the coming year
- Space and time to map out your ideal outcomes in each area of your life
- Connection with like-minded peers
- Your very own Vision Board to attract your ideal outcomes in the months ahead
- Personal coaching from me – spaces are limited to offer this attention and support!
Can’t make that time? Gather a small group of friends in person or online, and I’ll be happy to offer this experience at another time.
Experiment!
I invite you to try on these different techniques and mindset shifts and see what works for you. If you need help, schedule a Clarity Call with me and we can figure out what support you need to keep going during these challenging times. I love brainstorming with people and designing creative, personalized strategies for each person’s unique situation.
Use the challenges in your life as opportunities for growth and new perspective and connection with others. That’s what we are designed to do as human beings – to love, grow and work together.
I wish you positive energy, imagination, and trust in yourself. You can do this!
If you’d like more ideas, check out these related posts:
Release Stress and Power Your Parenting Skills
Melt Conflict into Cooperation
How to Choose Your Word of the Year
Who I serve: I coach parents from coast to coast in the US and internationally. Thanks to Zoom, I am currently coaching parents from Boston to Seattle, Connecticut to California, as well as New York, Ohio, and Colorado. I’ve worked with parents in Bermuda, Japan, Portugal, and Canada as well. I’m grateful for these global and domestic connections!
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