June and July are great times to check in with your family about what you want to savor in the new season. As you reflect, you’ll get clear on how to make the most of the weeks of school vacation. Each season brings special opportunities. Even if you need to work all summer, you, too can make this season feel more memorable.
Tips to guide your “savor the summer” conversations
Create a family planning session
Set out a favorite snack or treat and invite your kids to join in some summer planning with you. Print out this fun summer brainstorm sheet designed by one of my teens (p.1 is colorful, p. 2 takes less printer ink) to guide your discussion. You can do it as a family or print out a sheet for each child to do on their own. Or, you can bring a paper calendar or sheets of plain paper and markers to help everyone get their ideas out and make them happen in a more free-form way.
Make a list of new things you want to try and things you want to savor
New: Perhaps you or your kids want to try something like paddle boarding or planting herbs or going somewhere new. What new skills do you want to learn or practice? What sounds fun to try?
Known and loved: What summer experiences feel like special rituals, like going to a favorite ice cream place, or a much loved beach? What easy-to-do experiences do you want to savor? For me, that includes eating outside, swimming in a lake, and watching the lightning bugs (aka fireflies) come out at dusk.
When you bring positive experiences to mind, you prime your brain to enjoy these moments more fully when they happen.
Do Seasonal Brainstorms using all 5 senses
Each season I ask my kids, “What are some things you want to experience this summer / fall / winter/ spring?” We then go through each of the senses to help generate ideas and write them down, adding some to the calendar to make sure they happen. This summer brainstorm sheet can help you do this more easily. Talking about the senses brings out wider-ranging ideas than the typical “What do you want to do?” question. And, it’s also fun to hear what tastes, smells, sounds, feelings, and sights they want to experience!
Want to explore more? Check out Gretchen Rubin’s newest happiness book Life in Five Senses – a wonderful exploration of how to experience life more fully.
Have an hour to listen? Check out this great podcast with Gretchen Rubin talking with Dan Harris about how to use ideas from her book: How To Use Your Five Senses To Reduce Anxiety, Increase Creativity, and Improve Your Relationships
Family “hopes and needs” conversations
Before each weekend and vacation, we try to make sure everyone has a say in what’s happening during that stretch of time – whether it’s about rides needed, time to get re-energized, or opportunities for family fun. Talking about what we want helps us savor those moments when they happen.
Here are some questions to get the conversation started:
How are you feeling right now / this past week? What do you need in the next few days to feel good?
What would make this weekend / vacation feel both relaxing and fun?
Are there any things you want to get done or accomplish this weekend? Projects? Planning?
Think about each person’s “pillars of well-being.” (Sleep, Food, Activity, Connection, Play) Does anyone need support in one or more of those pillars to feel more balanced and happy?
Have an older child? Try categories for each day…
If you love spontaneity and resist structures or have a teen who wants freedom to choose, I recommend helping your kids name some intentions for each day. It can help to think of them in terms of categories or buckets. For example: Try to do one thing in each category: outdoor exercise, something to help someone else or the household, a creative project, and reading at least 30 minutes.
Reflect on the day together
Reflecting on each of your experiences at the end of the day can lead to good dinner conversation each night. Try my Conversation Jumpstarts. These are printable cards you can share with your family. Go around the table and have each person share a few moments from the day. Rose, Thorn and Bud is just one our favorite ways to share positive, negative and anticipatory moments. In addition, I’ve included many other questions you can use these questions when out on a walk or standing in a long line to keep your child’s mind occupied. There is a set for younger kids and a set for older kids. Have fun connecting with your children in new ways! (Note: If you are already on my mailing list, you may need to email me for the direct link for these conversation jumpstart cards.)
Take time to savor the good and listen to each other.
Hearing about each other’s days helps generate natural curiosity and closeness. Kids and parents feel loved when they get asked questions that come from a place of genuine interest and curiosity. Encourage your children to ask questions of you, too! This is a life skill that builds relationships. Encouraging questions in your family will nurture the ability to share about one’s experience and to more deeply understand another person’s way of thinking.
Here are a few questions to try after someone has shared something from their day:
- How did that make you feel?
- What did you do when that happened?
- What do you wish could have happened instead?
Closing Thoughts: “Connection Catalysts“
Summer can be a busy time with camps starting and ending, juggling work and family, and surprise ups and downs. Be sure to take time to relax. Savor long-awaited family celebrations and get-togethers with friends. It’s important to take time to pause and recalibrate when you start to feel overwhelmed.
Connection Catalysts are mantras you can say to yourself when you feel off-center to get back on track. These are phrases that can help you connect with your family and get back in alignment with what works well for your family.
Rest for renewal.
Summer is a time to rest and renewal, so be sure to savor and admire flowers and trees, listen to birds chirping, and watch the sky as it changes. Let your kids be bored sometimes without turning to screens. Encourage them to use their creativity to come up with things to do. Let them sit and dream by modeling that yourself.
Ask for help.
If you feel overwhelmed, reach out for help by talking with friends and family. Schedule a Clarity Call with me if you need a boost or some sessions to get yourself and your family back on track.
Focus on what matters most.
Figure out what is most essential for family well-being this summer and prioritize that. Embrace outdoor time, free play, and more independence.
Have fun and get creative.
When you feel things slipping or you are getting cranky, turn to fun. Turn on music, be silly, and do something you wouldn’t normally do. Playful parenting makes our kids more willing to do all sorts of things, from helping to clear the table to reading a book.
Create environments that invite creativity and you will be surprised at what your kids do on their own.
Need ideas? Schedule a Clarity Call. I love brainstorming with parents and families. That’s one of my favorite things to do as a coach.
Have a wonderful summer!
