I want to appreciate all fathers who intentionally make an effort to be caring dads and partners. Each of you has chosen to focus on your kids, and engage with them emotionally, socially, physically and mentally. What kids need most is our unconditional love and attention. Showing up with your full self makes a big difference in your kids’ lives.
For all of you, whether you are a father or partner to a father, or a daughter or son, June is a wonderful time to pause and reflect. It’s important to appreciate the role fathers and male role models have played and can play in our lives.
Keep reading to learn about:
- How what you do matters and the importance of fathers
- The power of modeling self-care
- Opportunities for healing and expressions of appreciation
- Excellent dad-published blogs, wisdom and resources
What you do matters
Your hugs, encouragement, playfulness, listening, and showing up for your kids in countless way help your children become loving, confident, responsible, self-determined young people who believe in themselves. All the work you do to look at life from your child’s perspective, pause and connect, and cheer your child on helps your child learn how to be a person you are proud of and who you admire.
Check out this blog from Dr. Laura Markham of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids on the researched importance of fathers in kids’ lives.
Want to read about the special bonds fathers can have with their children? Check out these books selected by PBS.
Teach your children by modeling true self-care
As parents, we are continually role modeling way how to respond to life – the highs and lows, challenges and opportunities. If you have been working hard and not spending enough time on self-care, this weekend offers an opportunity to reset and commit to taking good care of yourself. When you feel good and replenished, everyone in your family benefits!
For some of you, taking care of yourself might mean taking time to sit and think about how you feel, identify what you need, and ask for what you want. For others, it might mean getting out and doing some exercise on your own or with friends. Connecting socially often gives us a boost of energy and happiness. Take some time to be a caring friend to yourself. Give yourself permission to relax, do things you love, and have fun.
Father’s Day can be painful, too. Here’s an opportunity to express love and receive healing…
Some of us may not have known our fathers or have lost our fathers, or perhaps we had difficult relationships with our fathers, so this day can be painful as well. Therefore, we need to find opportunities for healing. It can help to ponder what we need(ed) and want(ed) from our fathers and then to heal ourselves by offering those qualities to ourselves and to others. We can also spend time reflecting on the ways we have appreciated our fathers.
Writing letters to our own children as well as to father figures in our lives is a rewarding practice that makes both the writer and the receiver feel good. I use birthdays as an occasion to write cards to my children (as well as family and friends) where I describe qualities I appreciate in them. I’ve noticed that they tend to keep these cards in their rooms long after their birthdays have passed. Check out this article about the impact of writing a meaningful letter to your child or a loved one for them to find one day in the future as well.
Model what you want to teach your own kids
Take time to appreciate yourself if you are a father. Acknowledging all the good you are doing will help you keep growing those qualities in yourself.
Be the person you hope your children will be through your character and your choices. Your children will be their own people, and yet they are also absorbing from you how to live their lives. You are modeling for your children how you want them to treat themselves and others, so do the things you hope they will do.
I wish you all a happy weekend and month of appreciating the fathers and male mentors you know and letting them know what a difference they make in the lives of yourself and others.
Dad-published blogs and wisdom to explore:
What I’m Glad I Knew About Myself Before I Became A Dad, According To 12 Men – a wonderful reflection
Here are two Father’s Day themed posts by a thoughtful and funny dad who has many helpful family-oriented blog posts:
A brief history of Father’s Day and Father’s Days around the world
Guidance for writing a letter to your father
Check out this list of 15 of the best dad blogs according to a team of dad blog editors. Please note that I have only explored some these blogs. I offer them in the spirit of sharing resources.
Here’s a great website for fathers with recorded workshops, helpful downloads, and other materials.
- https://fatheringtogether.org/resources/ – links to a variety of resources
- https://fatheringtogether.org/four-kinds-of-listeners/ – brief helpful tips on listening that some of my parent coaching clients have appreciated
