As we go through the seasons of the year, it’s helpful to note the seasons of our lives through moments of reflection and appreciation. Take some time to journal, or walk with a family member or friend and share observations about the season you have experienced and the season you are entering. What moments stand out to you? What do you need more of right now? How do you want to grow in the coming months?
When we reflect on our observations and feelings, we gain insight that gives us information, grows our awareness, and clarifies how we want to move forward.
Reflect on your own or in conversation with your family and friends:
- What are some highlights or themes of your summer season? What did you most enjoy?
- How are you appreciating yourself and your children this summer?
- In what ways did each person grow or use time away from regular school, college, or work?
- Which aspects of yourself have been neglected and yearn to be expressed in the new season?
- What do you most want to focus on this fall season, both for yourself and for your family?
My Personal Summer Reflections
For those of you who are interested, I thought I’d share some of my summer reflections to give you a window into my life as a parent.
Having my kids all home
The most joyful experience of my summer has been having all of my kids home again. My oldest just graduated from college in May and has been studying art, anthropology, and Africana studies abroad for much of the past two summers on college grants. To have her home again as she figures out her next steps has been a pleasure, even though I know this is a tough stage of life for her. I feel for her as she faces the uncertainty of finding a job in New York City, where many of her best friends are. I treasure both the casual and deep conversations we have when she’s at home between her current work and pursuing her passions. It has been such a treat to have all three of my children home together, and I don’t want to miss out on time with them.
The pleasure of being near each other
Having a full house reminds me of how busy and distracting, and yet fun it is to have three kids with different needs and schedules. I like to step out of my office and check in with my kids (ages 17, 20, and 22) in between my coaching calls, and feel fortunate to work from home.
My kids are each going through stages of life that require sorting through their experiences and priorities, and I like to be present when they share funny, frustrating or happy moments of their days. I like to ask questions to help them tap into their inner wisdom and listen when they are in the mood to share. I also love the fun of just hanging out with them, laughing, making meals, eating, exploring the garden, taking walks, and being silly. Consequently, I haven’t had as much time or mental space to write blogs or develop ideas I had wanted to write, and I’m mainly ok with that, even though I like to stick to my monthly schedule. My family is my priority.
Seeing extended family
I’ve also loved spending time with my nieces and nephews, whose ages range from 6 to 22, as well as my sisters, parents and parents-in-law. As everyone gets older and goes through various health challenges, I feel the need to savor these moments. I get to “practice what I preach” and use my parent coaching skills when I’m with all the cousins, whether it be getting them all to pitch in with contributions to the family (aka chores 😊) or working through conflicts that inevitably arise among the younger ones. It’s wonderful to see how all of their relationships with each other keep changing over time.
Learning new skills myself
In July, I took time to grow my own skills by taking an abstract acrylic painting class (normally I like to paint realistically in watercolors) and attending an online writing retreat, both of which I loved. It’s good to be a learner and face the struggle of developing a new skill. This experience grows my compassion for my kids, and all of us as we all learn new skills.
Butterfly weed, bee balm, and cone flowers in bloom as the coreopsis fade, and fall sedum begin in my front garden
Flower gardening
I’ve spent time each week tending my flower garden, which brings me great pleasure and delight. My goal is to have new combinations of flowering plants blooming as those that already bloomed fade. I often find myself thinking of how gardens are like families, with each plant growing in its own unique way, based on the environment and the season. I’ve had to move plants that need more sun or protection from rabbits and learn how much water, pruning and fertilizing each one needs to create a harmonious ecosystem for them all. Similarly, we need to pay attention to what each of our children need at a given time and place in their lives in order to thrive.
Traveling to Peru
My family in Chinchero, Peru, an Incan site
This August, we took a family trip to Peru, where I’ve wanted to go since I was in high school. It was wonderful to see my kids, my husband and I functioning like a team, whether it be deciding on the day’s plan or helping push our driver’s van when it got stuck on a rugged road. My children who used to complain about hiking now wanted to explore new trails, and were able to deal with cold, heat, and altitude. They used their Spanish to laugh and communicate with shop owners and people on the street when we got lost.
They worked through moments of conflict and expressed gratitude many times a day for the beautiful experiences we had together. We all knew this might be the last big trip we can take together for a while as taking mutual time off becomes harder over time.
Savoring warm weather & looking forward to Fall
As we enter September, I am taking my middle daughter back to college, and helping my youngest get organized to apply for college. I want to savor these remaining weeks of warm weather by eating outside, going hiking, paddling on lakes or rivers, painting, and getting together with friends on the weekends. I love watching my dahlias, zinnias, cosmos and asters bloom with a rainbow of colors. I’m excited for the regularity that will happen again as school starts. I look forward to coaching new and ongoing clients as parents have more time and space to focus on their own growth.
We took a hike to a beautiful forest and waterfall in Western Mass for my birthday in July.
Anchor with gratitude, patience and simplicity
I wish you all time to do what you love and to just be – appreciating the beauty and sweetness of your families in between the challenging moments. Emotions will be higher as our kids meet new friends and teachers and adjust to new schedules. May we all anchor ourselves with moments of gratitude, and extra patience to ride the waves of intensity. Know that it takes a few weeks to settle into new routines, so keep things as simple as possible. Let things be easy when you can, resist overcomplicating, and keep your expectations small.
May you be kind and compassionate with yourselves and your children as you find new rhythms in this fall season. Please reach out if you need support! I’m here for you.
Warm regards,
Amy
Write a Google Review and receive a Free Opportunity
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“Fall Tune-Up” opportunities – Friday, Sept. 12th 12-1pm and Friday, Sept. 26th 12-1pm.
I’ll send you the Zoom link and materials after I see your review, or you can email me (am*@********ns.com) about it. If you can’t make one of the calls, but want the resources I’m creating for the calls, just send me an email. I greatly appreciate your support in helping other parents find me and trust that they will receive excellent care, guidance, and coaching.
Related Blog Posts:
I’ve written a number of blogs about this summer to fall transition and invite you to choose the themes that speak to you. Don’t see a topic you need? Write to me about what you’d like help on, and I’ll take those requests into account as I plan my blogs for the coming months.
Strike a Balance for the New School Year
It’s a good time to take care of yourself by striking healthy balances so that you can model what you want to see in your kids.
Start School Strong: Tips for Tricky Times of the Day with your Child
How do we develop approaches that can smooth out those tricky times and teach our kids the skills they need to start school strong?
From End-of-Summer Blahs to New Season Excitement: Mindset Shifts that Generate Energy
How do we handle these feelings of “not enough,” self-judgment, and regret that often come up at transition times of the year?
Tips to Navigate the Summer to Fall Transition
Here are some tips to help you enter this new season and help your child adjust to online or hybrid school.
